An unplanned C- section, fibroids, and no questions asked.
Kara is the mother two beautiful kids, Jackson and Mia, and wife to a loving husband. Both children are healthy, but Kara’s experiences with pregnancy have changed her view towards the traditional US healthcare system.
During her first pregnancy with Jackson, Kara was living in Northern Virginia, and like everyone else in the area, went to an OB-GYN and planned for a traditional hospital birth. She followed all the doctor’s orders, and thought she was doing everything right.
One time at a grocery store in the area, Kara heard a woman say “what a poor young women, having to raise a child alone.” After that, knowing what stereotypes she was facing, Kara made sure to bring her husband to each and every doctors appointment.
During an ultrasound, doctors discovered fibroids growing in Kara’s uterus. Back in college, Kara (like many Black women) used relaxants in their hair, trying to appear more white-passing. The lye used in those products have been linked to fibroid development. As Kara progressed further along in her pregnancy, the fibroids grew bigger and bigger. Her doctor’s told her they couldn’t remove them. Her baby was fighting to share space with these fibroids, to the point where Kara’s belly was so swollen people assumed she was having twins.
When Kara went into labor with Jackson, the doctors discovered Jackson was breech, meaning that Jackson was positioned feet first instead of headfirst. Without any consultation or discussion, the doctor informed Kara she would be having a C-section, and then promptly left the room. Kara and her husband were left alone to cope with a complete change in their birthing plan, with no resources or support.
“At no point in the process was I asked what I wanted. I was never explained what my options were, I was just told”
During the C-section, Kara started losing too much blood. In an emergency maneuver, Jackson was suctioned out of her uterus, and then was whisked away to the NICU for life saving treatment. No one told Kara anything. The nurse said Jackson had been taken away for “routine” newborn care. Kara was immediately encouraged to use formula rather than breastfeeding, the opposite of what her white friends were told. The hospital assumed Jackson would be circumcised, instead of asking Kara what she wanted. Kara and her husband had no idea anything had ever gone wrong with the C-section, until a week later when they came back for their checkup.
This experience forced Kara to become very aware of her health, and she realized she need to start doing her own research and asking questions. She moved away from Northern Virginia to Saint Augustine, a small beach town in Florida. She became pregnant with her second child, Mia, and this time she decided to do things differently.
She hired a midwife, a trained healthcare professional, to guide her through her second pregnancy, and went to a well-renowned doctor in the area. Immediately she noticed a difference in her care. The midwife completely personalized the experience. Instead of Kara just feeling like a number, another patient coming in and out of the office, the midwife came to Kara’s own home for check in-s. Instead of Kara having to do her own research and ask questions, the midwife explained what her options were, exactly what she was doing, and why she recommended doing it.
For the first time, Kara was in control of her health and her baby’s health. She, with the help of her midwife, crafted a personalized birth plan that Kara and her husband felt comfortable with. Throughout the entire process, Kara’s midwife was right by her side, coaching her through every change and every decision. This time, the C-section was planned, and they also removed the fibroid, something Kara had previously been told wasn’t an option. Baby Mia was born healthy, with no complications.
This summer, Kara was pregnant with her third child, and suffered a miscarriage. Her doctor’s office never called or followed up, and she was never offered mental health services or support.
During her first pregnancy, Kara didn’t want to fit into the stereotype of “the angry Black women,” and so had been afraid of asking hard questions or questioning the treatment plan. Now, Kara believes that every women and mother should educate themselves on their options, and take charge of their own health. Kara stresses that every woman should educate themselves on their options, and then make whatever choice is best for them and their family.
Lastly, I asked Kara a final question: If you could tell future mothers one thing, what would it be?
“Educate yourself, be gentle with yourself, and give yourself and those around you grace”
Thank you, Kara.